Two – How To Talk To Crazy People by Donna Kakonge – Strange Lovers

I sit in the living room and see chickens outside in the yard. Just beyond them is an area where I see only goats. When I take a closer look, I realize it’s an old tennis court with grass growing through cracks in the pavement. The fence around it looks like a spider’s web—and just about as strong. One side of the fence is covered with vines.

Rural and urban lands are strange lovers here.

I have decided to revamp my image to be the way I was on the night I saw the play Sunset Boulevard in Toronto. I had taken out the braided extensions I was wearing at the time and had the owner of Jazma Hair Inc. blow-dry my hair straight. Slender and elegant, I wore a raw silk Sunny Choi strapless dress that fanned out past my knees like the fins on a fish. A sequined bow adorned a knee-high slit in the back.

Today I cleaned up my room and it looks really good. I wish I could kill the cockroaches but those things, even in Toronto, could survive a nuclear blast. The Ugandan cockroaches will inherit the earth. There must have been fifty of them under my bed, all as large as hockey pucks. That was not right. On a hockey rink, there is only one.

My mom sent my Compaq laptop through the international carrier DHL. I now have my computer set up. I’m ready for business. I feel ready for anything. I can now write the great Canadian novel, the even greater Canadian movie, and somehow move the Canadian novel away from being synonymous with the second rate.

Today, I learned many new Lunyoro and Luganda words from Clara. I also learned how to make chapattis (flatbread). My goodness, chapattis are what my belly has been missing all this time.

I watched a great Larry King Live show today with the actor Al Pacino. It was good.

I got letters today! I am so glad for my friend Mary. She has decided to leave the CBC. We all do at some point, even if it’s for retirement. I can’t wait to write Olane and Diane and Yamin. I will spend a lot of money on postcards tomorrow and maybe find a good pen, too. I am also going to the Sanyu TV and radio station tomorrow. I feel prepared. Let the heavens wish me luck and that Sanyu wants me to work for them.

It’s already mid-November. The year is almost over. It’s amazing how much gas I have these days. I wonder if it is all the matoke?

I have pretty much decided that the story of my trip to Uganda will actually be written in Canada. I hope I can work on all that happened last year. I may be trying to incorporate too many things. I know I’m a better talker than I am a doer. That’s changing though.

Why did I end up with Constance as a teacher? What was I really to learn?

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Author: kakonged

I am an author, journalist, teacher, and lawyer who lives in Toronto, Canada. This picture is a selfie that was done on Saturday, February 24, 2018, nearing six years of my being dreadlocked.