After having a conversation with a woman who stole my laptop years ago outside of my house, I selected to listen to “The Heart of the Matter,” from the Testimony Vol. 1 album from India.Arie.
“I think it’s about forgiveness…” This is so true. Funny enough an old boyfriend of mine that I almost married was also online for Yahoo chat and I thought about chatting with him. I decided not to. I decided to let it go. Not because I’m angry, but because he has his life now and I have mine.
I’m on my own…and that is OK. I am truly OK with it. When I hear Arie sing I think to myself it is even more OK. There is a tremendous amount I have been able to achieve on my own. A tremendous amount I have been able to achieve with old and new people in my life – and even knowing those people who are no longer in my life still do look out for me in their own way. Things are quite good in my life. My magazine Donna is doing well. I have new interns who are fantastic writers for the magazine now. I just completed writing a story for the magazine about an old friend of mine from undergrad and she bought four of my books as an exchange.
Yes…things are good. Despite this recession – I am doing OK. I even know that I have three courses to teach at Seneca College for the fall, one at Centennial College and one at Trebas Institute. Things truly are very good.
Wow…India.Arie’s next song is “Good Morning.” I get up early in the morning, many mornings about 4:00 a.m. and this is the time of the day that I like the best many times – especially on a day like today: Tuesday, June 23, 2009. The mornings get bright quickly and the evenings are still light at 5:30 p.m. Last night I sold two of my books to a new friend of mine who was kind enough to support my efforts.
I did not exercise as I would have liked to this morning, however, I did go to VoicePrint to do volunteer work. VoicePrint is a non-profit organization that provides news and information to those people with vision impairments. It’s funny how doing something like this has opened my eyes. I saw a woman who was blind come onto the subway when I was on my way back from there and I looked at her differently. She actually seemed more human to me. I know that sounds funny, however, it is true. I felt a connection to her – this is what I truly mean.
India.Arie has a voice that is kind of a combination between Sting’s and Erykah Badu’s. It’s huskier than Badu’s, like Sting’s, however, is still very much a woman’s voice.
The next song is perfect for how I celebrate every day of my life living on my own since “we” decided not to marry each other (meaning my former fiancé). This song is called “Private Party.” Yes, I have been learning to love myself. “Baby, look how far we’ve come.” I know even my former would be proud of me. “I’ve learned to love the quiet moments, even the Sunday mornings of life.” So well written – I do not have a guitar, but I have a computer and my writing to keep me company and this IBM keyboard is like my guitar.
It’s not my birthday…however, every day we all live is a cause of celebration. I am so fortunate. My Dad lives next door, my brother-in-law plays his music loud and it helps to keep me company when I am outside smoking (I’m working on stopping – writing helps). He lives with my terrific and beautiful sister and my extraordinary niece Oshun. Well, yes…I’m just a little biased.
And yes, my magazine again…”There’s Hope” by Arie. I have an online community called The Community of Hope. I think it is something that is needed in these recession times. “It doesn’t cost a thing to smile…” This is so true. This is why I focus on doing what I enjoy doing. That was the sad thing about the woman who stole my laptop who I was speaking to today – she did not smile.