Becoming a Dad

In Writing (all kinds) on January 3, 2017 at 2:19 PM

By Saad Zafar

So this is my first piece for Donna Magazine. My maiden voyage! I had originally intended for this to be about my thoughts on becoming Dad (as my wife and I are expecting a baby later this year). But a week ago, I got laid off. The company I had been working for has been downsizing over the last couple of months. So now, I am out-of-work and about to become a Dad.

When my wife and I first found out that she was pregnant, I was elated! We both were. But I was also a little bit apprehensive. We were both were. I would look at my own Dad and wonder if I would ever be able to live up to his example. He is an incredibly kind, compassionate, and giving man. And so patient and understanding. And to top it all off, he has always seemed to have all of the answers to every problem I have ever had. Nothing flusters him. And I would wonder whether I have it in me to be a Dad as great he has been.

What has really been occupying my thoughts lately is the idea that father has to be a rock of stability for his children. If I were not expecting to bring a child into this world, then me losing my job would have felt like the end of the world and I would have been in the midst of a giant freak-out. But now, I feel like I have live each and every moment of my life as an example for my unborn child. I can’t panic. About anything. Ever. Because I have to be that rock of stability for him/her that my father was for me. I can’t ever get flustered because how could I ever be a source of comfort for my child during his/her difficult moments if I myself don’t truly have it together.

So I’m having all these thoughts and I feel like God had me terminated from my job in order to prepare me for fatherhood. I hope that I will get a job soon. Sooner rather than later. And I hope that once I do, I will have developed in such a way that would make me a better father to my child. So maybe this ordeal – if one can call it that – is actually a test that’s meant to prepare me for fatherhood. And if I can keep it together (and really survive and thrive), then perhaps I’ll be an infinitely better place psychologically, emotionally, temperamentally, and spiritually when my child comes into this world. So I guess this piece really is about me becoming a Dad. Just as I had originally intended it to be.

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