By Kirk Verner
How about these social networking sites? How do you feel about them? Aren’t they great? I beg to be different and beg to differ. These mind-numbing social sites are all that people talk about.
“I have over 10,000 friends on MySpace. 3,500 people on Facebook. And, 143 people follow me on Twitter.” Imagine that, close to 14,000 people spying on your mundane daily activities; simply splendid!
“I love to share my personal thoughts with others. Everyone is so interested in me! Popularity rules!” I know how stomach-churning this may sound, but this is the sort of rubbish I have to overhear each and every time I decide to venture out merely to grab a cup of coffee.
I was having some computer issues the other month and was forced to take my laptop in for a slight overhaul. The computer technician said that I would be without my computer for only a few days. I didn’t think that a few days would be a big deal at all…I was wrong.
It did not take long for me to realize how much I missed my computer. I had only been without it for 21 hours when I became as lonely as Bambi. I truly missed my light-weight, digital companion. The way the “enter” button clicks when compressed is exhilarating!
Somewhere in that 21st hour, I decided that I MUST get to a computer and check my email; see, I’m a popular lad, even without Facebook, Myspace, or any of those other social networking sites. So, I needed a computer. Where to go? The only place I could think of that has free internet service was the library; load up the children, off to the library!
The library was basically empty. There was nobody scouring the long bookshelves for the perfect book. There was no one sitting quietly at a work-station, studying, learning, absorbing information. But, every single public computer, ten in total, was occupied. My knee-jerk reaction was to abandon ship and head back home, but I couldn’t leave. I reminded myself that I needed to crawl about the web, so I took a number and a seat and began to wait in my impatient manner.
After about 15 minutes of staring at the dirty carpeted floor, I decided to stretch my legs; I was getting a little eager, angry, and ready to leave. As I slowly moseyed past the ten glowing computer screens and the lethargic, code-blue-like patrons that sat on the stiff wooden seats in front of the screens, I noticed that nine of the ten computers were being wasted by simpletons surfing their way back and forth from social networking sites. All of a sudden I realized I had to get out of there in fear of losing control and raising my voice, in turn, breaking the unwritten rule of all libraries. So, I left. I wanted my own computer back!
I couldn’t believe what I was doing. My cranium became filled with unrest as I paced around like a psychopath, longing for my own computer. I had one email address to check, and this was how I was acting. It made me shake my head for a moment and wonder what it’d be like if I had two, three, or even four emails to check or sites to update. I don’t even have the time or enough patience to cook tomato soup.
Needless to say, I did get my laptop back within a few days. I was finally happy again. No more painfully, annoying trips to the library; back to the simple pleasure that only my “enter” button can deliver to me when struck. I hadn’t checked my email in three whole days. I figured there must be close to 50 emails waiting to be read in my Hotmail inbox…I was wrong again. I had four emails. Two of which were junk mail. So, much for Mr. Popular.
I don’t want to sound like a full-blown curmudgeon, especially at my young age, but I know that I am not the only anti-social networking human out there. Please people, just like masturbation and drug abuse, leave your social networking at home. Be a narcissist, and pat your own back in private.