Mikaya Heart is a Minister of Holistic Healing and an author, writing books and articles on subjects as varied as lesbianism, orgasm, politics, and shamanism. My Sweet Wild Dance, which is the story of her personal journey from anger to joy, won a Golden Crown Literary Award. Her latest book is The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women. She is a coach in the art of being fully alive, using shamanic methods to help her clients live in trust and access Universal energy, facilitating positive change in all areas of life. (www.mikayaheart.org)
By Mikaya Heart
This is the last in a series of articles by Mikaya Heart on how sex can help us to understand the nature of reality, first published on cherrygrrl.com.
In the first article of this series, I mentioned that women tend to have ambivalence about allowing sexual energy to flow freely. I believe it is common for women to have a troubled relationship to sex which they don’t talk about either because they haven’t acknowledged it to themselves or because they think there is something wrong with them. Most commonly, ambivalence is manifested by lack of desire, particularly in a longterm relationship, and it can also be manifested by the inability to have an orgasm (both of which I have personally experienced). Human beings are extraordinarily different, and so what I am about to say may not apply to everyone. However, a great deal of women’s lack of ongoing desire occurs because we are trying to avoid inappropriate feelings coming up. Even if we have not personally suffered from rape or sexual abuse, that fear is deep in our cultural subconscious. So it’s understandable for women to have feelings of anger or antipathy coming up along with sexual arousal, and those who have never had this experience are fortunate. In order not to deal with the anger, we cut ourselves off from arousal; after all, it can be very uncomfortable to find yourself feeling murderous towards your lover in the middle of a love-making session. Yet the ability to feel one’s feelings, which is very much a feminine quality, is a tremendous source of power and wisdom. Read the rest of this entry »